4:9 A Freak Show

In a time before TV, there was imagination.

In other words, I'm too lazy for props, so pretend the

things I say are there are really there...

"Where the hell is my shirt?!" Kaity shouted to the air, annoyed that after emptying the contents of her bag she couldn't find it anywhere. Winter crouched beside her and tried to calm her down a little. This really wasn't her day.
"It must be here somewhere. Let's look again, and put stuff back in the bag while we do it." He suggested. It was more of a 'this is what we're doing' than a suggestion, but the tone in his voice was friendly.

"No. It's not here." She sighed, sitting back on her heel a little and thinking back to when she packed.
"It must be. Do you have another bag?"
"No." She sighed as she realised. "I was packing, nearly done, then Sophie started shouting in the nursary, saying Jaydean was biting her, so I ran in there. She wasn't, of course, it was a game they were playing, so I went back and I must've just zipped the bag up without putting in the shirts." The pair were silent for a moment.
"Do you want to borrow one of mine? It'll be a bit big, but you can tuck it in..."
"No. I'll just wear the waistcoat."
"Just the waistcoat with no shirt?" Winter questioned.
"Yeah. I don't care. You can pretend you've never seen me before if it's that embarrassing." She didn't mean to snap, but she wasn't in the best of moods and it came out harsher than she'd meant.

"Hey, don't be like that!" He sighed, moving her bag and it's contents to one side, crouching in front of her and lifting her face to look her in the eye. "Why would I be embarrassed of you?" Kaity sat in quiet confusion and shock, unable to think of a reply for what felt like minutes.
"Because..." She began when she thought she'd found an answer, but trailed off when she realised she hadn't.
"Exactly. Now, wear whatever and lets get some breakfast."

_____

Kaity hardly listened all day. She was sure whatever the speaker was saying would be informative and interesting, but she had way too much on her mind.

Thoughts whizzed around her head. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since she arrived, but her entire world was different. Back home Shaena was a mess. Alex was where he belonged finally, but Shaena wasn't conviced. She thought about phoning Bonnie right there and then to see if she would talk to her, but decided against it when she realised Winter would run out after her. He actually wanted to go to this thing.

Winter. She thought. He's... Well... I don't know. He's kind, caring, friendly... She smiled to herself. Great at all the important things. She giggled, out loud apparently, as Winter turned his head slightly. Oops... She smiled to reassure him that she was listening. Even though she wasn't. He's smart, too.

 She turned to look at him, and watched him listen to the speaker. Hot as well. She caught herself staring, and inwardly scolded herself. For goodness sake, Kaity! Don't let him get to you, it'll all be over the day after tomorrow and you'll never see him again, so don't get attached like an idiot.

 Right. Face front. Listen. Learn. She honestly tried now, but the speaker was halfway through an explaination, and it made no sense without hearing the start. This blonde girl is wearing less than me. And it looks like she planned to, as well. I thought we had to dress smart for this thing? She looks like she's going out clubbing after.
I wonder if there're any clubs nearby?
Don't be stupid, this is Starlight Shores! Of course there's clubs!

 Her eyes drifted to the row next to the one in front.
Is that the receptionist?! What's that bitch doing here? She's sitting next to that blonde guy... 
Is he wearing a sack?! I should have just worn my normal clothes. The only person dressed smart is Winter.

 Oh my god! That girl! She tried to stifle a giggle, but it came out anyway. Why is she dressed so bright?! And... Is that guy wearing cowboy boots?
This isn't a conference. This is a freak show. How do they expect me to concentrate with all this going on around me?

_____


After the days talks were done, Winter offered to buy Kaity dinner. The breakfast had been included in the hotel package, and lunch was a buffet provided by the company. Kaity readily accepted, not used to being pampered. This almost sounded like a date, and she'd never been on a date before.

"So, do you want to talk about this morning?" Winter approached the subject in a gentle voice, remembering how worked up she had been earlier.
"Not really. There's not a lot to talk about." She shrugged. "My cousin is an idiot, and her boyfriend needs to learn a lesson or two. I'll sort it out when I get home."
"How are the twins?" Winter wanted her to talk about something, at least. She clearly had a lot to process right now.
"Fine, they're with Rose now."
"Rose? Is she another friend?" He realised now that he didn't really know anything about her.
"No, she's my sister." She noticed Winters expression, a cross between 'tell me more', and guilt. "I have a brother too, Jake. We're triplets."

"Triplets?! Wow, so multiples run in the family?"
"Yeah." Kaity smiled at how surprised he looked. They really hadn't done much getting to know each other, so she continued. "I never knew my dad, I don't even know his name. I've never asked about him, never cared, and never missed him. I get my skin colouring from him, all the rest of me and both my siblings is from my mum or our grandparents." Winter listened intently while she explained the odd conditions she was bought up in, glossing over the reason Geoffrey had gone and reappeared. The media would whip up a frenzy if they found out about that, and you never knew who you could trust.

"So the twins are with your sister? Where's their father?" He asked dubiously. Kaity rested her face on her hand, and he immediately regretted asking about the father.
"It's stupid. I don't even know his name. He came round when I threw a party once, looked around the house at the pipes, and... It happened. Nobody knows where he came from, nobody ever saw him since." She was angry just thinking about it. How could someone just stroll in and do that to a teenaged girl? "Rest assured. If I ever see him again... Well, I'd be straight in that jail with Alex. Leaving the girls orphaned, so probably for the best that he's not made an appearance." She could feel tears starting to prick her eyes,

"Hey, you're right to be angry. Don't get upset." Winter reached out and gently took two of her fingers into his, stroking the side of her pinky with his thumb affectionately.
"I'm not upset." She retorted, starting to get angrier at herself for being distracted by his movements. "I'm angry that he just walked in, violated me, and then left my children to be raised without a father. I wanted more for them. Rose got pregnant at the same time as me, but with her boyfriend. They got married before their son was even born, and now they're this happy little family. My cousin, Luis, did it all the right way. He got married and then waited years to have kids. He had twin girls the same time as me, and I end up just leaving my twins with anyone who's willing."

She broke down. She shook her hand free from his and slammed her face into her palms.
"I love them, I really, truly, honestly do. I'd do anything for them, but sometimes I just can't bear to look at them. Sometimes I end up just going through the motions, pretending I'm your average good mother, but inside I just want to leave them with someone else. I agreed to come to this thing for a break from them, to get away and live life for a few days... I miss them. I miss them so much. I didn't think I would, but even this morning when you woke me up and I told you off for ruining my lie-in? I wished they were there, climbing on my bed and pulling my hair. Knocking things off the nightstand and ruining the peace. I wish they were here right now, and I wish they were old enough to understand how to use a phone. Even if I ring Rose-"
"Kaity." Winters reassuring tone cut her short. She was pouring her heart out to a total stranger, and crying in public.
"I'm sorry, I must look such a mess..." She didn't dare to look up from her hands. "Is everyone staring?"
"No, nobody's paying any mind." He gently tugged her hands from her face, and held them loosly in his own.

"Of course you miss them." He started. "They're your own flesh and blood. Everyone has those doubts you have, everyone wonders if they're good enough, everyone wants a break from time to time. It doesn't make you a bad mother." Kaity stopped listening at that point, enjoying his cold fingers locked with her own, and wishing he'd stop tracing circles with his thumb. She'd go crazy any moment. "...Am I right?"
Damn. I wasn't listening... How can I save this?
"Winter."
"Yes?"
"Let's go upstairs. I fancy an early night." Kaity winked to show him she had no intentions of sleeping.